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How Matthew Remski Violated Victims' Privacy

New revelations show how cult expert Matthew Remski grossly violated victims confidentiality and covered up guru abuse

Be Scofield is the author of Hunting Lucifer: One Reporter's Search for Cults and Demons. She's a prominent cult reporter whose work has been cited by Netflix, NY Times, Dr. Phil, People, Rolling Stone, and more. Please donate here.


September 5th, 2023

Over the years I would hear criticisms and accusations against Conspirituality co-host Matthew Remski. I dismissed them and defended him every time. As a fellow cult researcher, I know the landscape can be thorny. I wrote off any criticisms as disgruntled cult members, or colleagues who were hurt by lack of attention.

After I published my recent critique of the Conspirituality podcast, people came to me. They’ve told me Matthew revealed highly confidential personal information about myself and other abuse survivors years ago. They said he would use this intel to groom them, get close, and make them feel special.

It turns out that Matthew shared highly sensitive information about my gender surgeries. You can imagine my shock and horror when these two women contacted me with intimate details about my genitals, sex drive, orgasms, hormone levels, surgeries, and mental health. These were details that only Matthew had as we used to be close and confided in each other.

"Matthew told me very personal things (medical, sexual, mental health related) about you, Be, that I should not know,” a colleague named "Claire" told me.

Claire also told me Matthew would email survivor's stories to her and include their names. She said he shared "intimate, confidential information" about other people with her. “Matthew also shared other victim testimony," she said. "When he forwarded emails, he would put 'CONFIDENTIAL' in the subject line. I know he did this with other survivors as well. One of his ways of grooming, making people feel special, gaining their trust.”

Another colleague, "Allison," told me the same thing. “Matthew told me very graphic details of your surgery and sex life and that he thought out of all his friends you were the most likely to end your life,” she said. “He did this often with others’ personal details as part of the grooming process,” she told me. “It wasn’t until Claire and I compared notes that we realized this.”

“He used it like currency to create intimacy,” Allison said. The women said he shared confidential information with them to make them "feel special."

Matthew used my personal story as social currency to groom other colleagues whom I barely knew.

We've all shared bits of gossip. But forwarding abuse victim's stories? Revealing highly confidential medical, sexual, and mental health information? Using personal details to groom people?

I asked what Matthew shared with them. They each told me very specific in-depth details about my personal life, mental health, and medical information that only he knew. Highly confidential things that were extremely sensitive. There is absolutely no way these women could know what they know without Matthew having revealed it to them. There is no context or explanation that could justify his sharing this information.  

This is career-ending for someone who works with abuse and trauma survivors. It’s a terrible violation of trust and privacy. Anyone in a therapeutic role knows you don't reveal the identities of an abuse or trauma survivor. You don't give specifics of someone's story. You speak in generalities, "I have a friend going through x issue." As a cult expert, what Matthew did is an egregious violation. "I don't think any information is really safe with him," Claire said.

Matthew used to advertise himself as a therapist despite not having the credentials or even finishing undergraduate college. "As a therapist, I try to hold space for people as they integrate the shadows of flesh and heart," his former website stated. Regardless, he understands confidentiality and privacy.

And if you think someone is in crisis you get them help: contact close friends, family, or the authorities right away. Instead, Matthew calculatingly fed unnecessary and private details about my genitals and orgasms to two people I'm barely connected with 1-2 years later in 2018 and 2019.

What other confidential information has Matthew shared about people? How many abuse victim's stories has he shared with others? Who will hold him accountable?

Covering Up Guru Abuse

Despite being a cult researcher and trauma expert, Matthew also hid the abuses of his friend and Zen teacher Michael Stone (who died in 2017). "Matthew enabled Michael Stone in domestic violence and sexual abuse before he went on to cover KPJ and Ashtanga yoga," Claire said. They wrote books together, toured, and taught while he knew he was abusing and sleeping with students.

“One of Michael's students spoke directly to Matthew about Michael sexually assaulting her,” Claire told me. “Matthew also protected Michael in that situation.”

Matthew Remski (left) Michael Stone (right)

Both women said that Matthew Remski told them Michael Stone was having sex with students. “He told me that Michael and his wife had an ‘open’ relationship and that he slept with his students,” said Allison.

“Michael Stone's ex-wife told Matthew about Michael beating her, and their child,” Claire said. “Michael even lost child visitation rights. Matthew knew about and ignored all of it."

“One of Michael's students spoke directly to Matthew about Michael sexually assaulting her."

“He told me one story where Michael pushed his wife into the bathtub and poured shampoo all over her,” Allison said. “Matthew knew this happened at the time and did nothing.”

I remember Matthew sharing much of the same details about Michae's abuses with me as well.

“Matthew wrote a book with Michael and promoted it with him," Allison said. "He called him his friend."

Meanwhile, Remski was building a name for himself as a critic of abusive gurus. He was establishing himself as a trauma expert who knew best how to deal with cult survivors. Yet, here he was enabling an abuser while simultaneously revealing confidential information about cult survivors and abuse victims.

"He even told me that the only way he would go public about enabling Michael Stone would be if he could write a book covering the whole story as if he has a right to gain something from enabling Michael," said Claire. "He always puts his interests before anything, yet he pretends he has ethics."

I saw one email from Matthew where he admitted to enabling Michael Stone and "opportunistically participating in his fame."

Both of the women told me they felt like Remski's friendship with them was manipulative and opportunistic. They feel he groomed them to gain information for his reporting.

As I suggested in my Conspirituality critique, something is off with the way Remski is engaging. He wrote all that stuff about Charles Eisenstein and others being calculating opportunists. I had a feeling he was majorly projecting onto them. I was right.

See also: Why I Quit the Conspirituality Podcast