Skip to content

Statement on Matthew Remski's Privacy Violation


September 7th, 2023

I’m releasing this statement to friends and colleagues to show why Matthew Remski's actions are a severe violation. I didn't want to have to reveal this sensitive information but he's already trying to spin and manipulate the situation. Read my original article here.

Matthew openly discussed graphic details of the most sensitive and private of topics: gender surgeries. He revealed unnecessary and specific information about my genitals, sex drive, orgasms, hormone levels,  surgeries, and mental health. I had confided in him as a close friend.

Sharing this level of private detail and using my name is creepy and calculating. It served no purpose and was wildly inappropriate. It wasn’t in service of getting me help. It was a gross violation of privacy and confidentiality.

Don’t let Matthew spin this as me being in crisis and he was concerned. He could have contacted me, my close friends, my family, or the authorities right away. Instead, he shared specific details about my orgasms and genitals with two people I’m barely connected with. He did so 1-2 years later.

As an expert, Matthew knows you don’t openly discuss the details of abuse victims' or trauma survivors' stories. You don’t reveal their identities. You speak in generalities i.e. “I have a friend struggling with x issue, what should I do?” Anyone in a therapeutic role understands this. It’s 101.

You can imagine my shock and horror when these two women contacted me with graphic details of my genitals, surgeries, sex drive, orgasms, and mental health. But they said it was a pattern: Matthew revealed other confidential stories and used their names. They say he did so to make them feel special with insider information.

If you had a friend who was sexually abused and in crisis, do you reveal the intricacies of how she was violated to two people who barely know her? Do you share her name and story? Of course not. You get her help or contact their close friends.

Likewise, there is zero justification for Matthew violating my confidentiality. Sharing specific and intimate details was not required or needed, especially given how sensitive of a topic it was. If he really was concerned for me he would have taken action not gossiped years later.

What Matthew has done is highly egregious and disturbing, especially as someone who built his name as a trauma-sensitive expert. He needs to step down and process what he’s done but I fear he is only going to gaslight and manipulate people further.